Adult ProTip, from a security professional: If a kid tells you, “My parents are gonna kill me / kick my ass / kick me out” for something relatively minor, don’t respond with shit like “Really? ;) that sounds a little extreme, don’t you think sweetie?” because that shit really does happen.
Instead, respond as though whatever threat they are afraid of is fully valid, and offer whatever you can do to help- ask if they believe they are in danger of being hurt in any way, and work accordingly.
If they’re overreacting, they’ll usually realize and dial it back, self-correct and begin thinking a bit more rationally.
If they’re not overreacting, and the danger is real, then they’ll need a level-headed adult in their corner, not another condescending authority figure who doesn’t believe them.
‘Autistics always love talking to other autistics, it’s always effortless for autistics to communicate with eachother’ stop!
telling!
lies!
Autistics are, basically, min-maxed relative to allistics. That means we do often get along with eachother EXTREMELY well and quickly, like, to an extent that wouldn’t make sense to allistics- but it ALSO means that when we don’t get along, that’s fucking it. We’re magnets. We either attract or repel, and fucking Nothing will change how we react to eachother after that
Two incompatible autistics are like two male betta fish in a teacup. Peace Was Never An Option
Any autist saying ‘that’s not true’ 100% guarantee hasn’t spent enough time with a variety of other autistics lmao
I do wish that “oppositional sexism” was a more commonly known term. It was coined as part of transmisogyny theory, and is defined as the belief that men and women, are distinct, non-overlapping categories that do not share any traits. If gender was a venn diagram, people who believe in oppositional sexism think that “men” and “women” are separate circles that never touch.
The reason I think that it’s a useful term is that it helps a lot with articulating exactly why a lot of transphobic people will call a cis man a girl for wearing nail polish, then turn around and call a trans woman a man. Both of those are enforcement of man and woman as non-overlapping social categories. It’s also a huge part of homophobia, with many homophobes considering gay people to no longer really belong to their gender because they aren’t performing it to their satisfaction.
It’s a large part of the reason behind arguments that men and women can’t understand each other or be friends, and/or that either men or women are monoliths. If men and women have nothing in common at all, it would be difficult for them to understand each other, and if all men are alike or all women are alike, then it makes sense to treat them all the same. Enforcing this rift is particularly miserable for women and men in close relationships with each other, but is often continued on the basis that “If I’m not a real man/woman, they won’t love me anymore.”
One common “progressive” form of oppositional sexism is an idea often put as the “divine feminine”, that women are special in a way that men will never understand. It’s meant to uplift women, but does so in ways that reinforce the idea that men and women are fundamentally different in ways that can never be reconciled or transcended. There’s a reason this rhetoric is hugely popular among both tradwifes and radical feminists. It argues that there is something about women that men will never have or know, which is appealing when you are trying to define womanhood in a way that means no man is or ever has been a part of it.
You’ll notice that nonbinary people are sharply excluded from the definition. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to them, it means that oppositional sexism doesn’t believe nonbinary people of any kind exist. It’s especially rough on multigender people who are both men and women, because the whole idea of it is that men and women are two circles that don’t overlap. The idea of them overlapping in one person is fundamentally rejected.
I think it’s a very useful term for talking about a lot of the problems that a lot of queer people face when it comes to trying to carve out a place for ourselves in a society that views any deviation from rigid, binary categories as a failure to perform them correctly.
If I can add, oppositional sexism is a cornerstone of evangelicalism and honestly a whole bunch of other forms of Christianity. The idea women and men exist for different tasks is deeply religious but specifically in the US and I assume for the majority of tradwives evangelical/conservative christian dogma. So even when ppl who proport to be somewhere feminist start up divine feminine shit they’re regurgitating the same talking points the religious right started doing.
Yep. I believe they refer to it as “Complimentarianism”.
ALT